I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
