Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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