Tell her she can't have a vagina
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize