real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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