If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
