yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize