life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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