Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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