We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
