It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
