Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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