OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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