used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
