The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
