I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
