just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
