i can't believe i had my finger in that
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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