Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
