Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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