He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize