he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
