I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
