My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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