ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
