But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
