She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
