Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If I die, sorry about rent.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
