Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
