I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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