no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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