we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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