He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
