fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
