when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
