bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
