It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
