Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
