They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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