i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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