It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
