i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
