yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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