I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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