At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Pooping to opera.
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