that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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