oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Randomize
