Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
