I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
