..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I want her autograph on my taint
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
