Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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