Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
