i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The adults are the big ones right?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
