Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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