Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
