i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
